Holidays. You love them, you hate them.

I personally am 50-50 about it. You get to sleep till your socks off but you find the rest of the day as boring as hell if you have not much going on with your friends. I for one am grounded so naturally, I'll get bored, REALLY BORED.

You know what? They should give more holidays to people who are working, so that they can have fun to chill and stuff. But there is also a down side, parents will put their noses into our stuff more often, hmmm, maybe they shouldn't.

What else? I'm bored as hell and the holidays must end faster. I love the sleeping but the rotting part is just ridiculous. How on earth can a young, lively and outgoing teenager be stuck at home doing nothing but trying her best to tried it like a bloody fun holiday.

I love my family, I really do but I need to desperately get out of the house with somelse other then blood-related people. That would be good. SABRINA BRING ME OUT. My parents only allows you too because your older and stuff. (: Hehe, I said your old. Don't get offended! :P

I HATE BEING STUCK AT HOME BECAUSE IT'S LIKE BEING LOCKED UP IN A CAGE LIKE A BLOODY ANIMAL.

I'm back from running!(:

PHEW! I feel so much better and my mind is much more clearer. I think I had a bloody breakdown just now. It's over but I think it will happen occasionally. But not so much.

Anyways, I know that I've got people with me, so I should be fine. BUT! Parents, you help a lot, quite a lot and way too much. I know you love me but don't suffocate me with it. Thank you.

My mind is like a circus. It is chaotic. It is thinking about stuff that I shouldn't be thinking about.
Honestly, I feel like an animal stuck in a cage that is so small that I can't breath. Everything's a mess and I feel like I lost everything. Grounding me, I don't give a shit. But, taking my phone away for so long, I can't take it. My phone is something I have to get away from all the situation and stuff. How is that you expect me to change overnight when you know deep inside I can't? I'm so torned and broken inside and I'm just covering it up with this strong cover. A bloody fifteen year old does not need to go through this kind of shit. Damn.

I can't take it ANYMORE.

Life has been like a roller coaster. There have beeen times where it goes up and down and a 360 loop. People puke and faces turn green when too much were endured, but in the end, everything remains in a smooth constant line, till the loops come.

Right now, I'm 5% on the loop, just 95% more till the straight line comes, and yes, the roller coaster ride has some screw loose. I always wondered if someone's life is smooth, what will it be like? I think that person life is boring, empty and that person probably is weak. Troubles comes because your suppose to learn and move on from it or even let other people benefit from the experience. I try hard not to think problems as something that is troublesome and irritating, but something that is challenging and a lesson to be learned. I again emphatize on the word I TRY. No one's perfect, don't expect too much from yourself, cause when something freaking goes wrong, you get all shitted up. Yeah, sucks right?

One more tip, make the best out of every single shit. When you know everything's going down 450km/h, you know the only thing is to cushion the fall. So why not think of the brighter side? If you think negatively, you'll just drop 50km/h much more. Isn't that stupid?

I did learn lots of stuff from all the stupid happenings in my life. I have to admit, I was warned but I ignored. Reckless and foolish, yes I am at times. Now, I guess I have to start thinking. If it's really worth it? But, I'm still willing to take risk.

What's life without shit in them? Nothing.

Maybe probably I should just face every situation happily. Enjoy my life to the fullest even if I'm stuck in the rubbish dump. Yeah, That's cool.

Life has been quite okay? Exams are alright but I hate it when I have flu. I have it ONLY during exam time. Then, it's all back to normal!

I hate the fact that I don't balance love, studies and friends properly. I want both to be 50-50. I'll try, hopefully, my friends will still be there.

By the way, I'm friendly. I don't scold or get mad at you because you tell me of my faults. In fact, I'll try to change for the better. I get irritated most of the time, not angry. I'm impatient, I know, I'm trying to change too. What else? Oh yeah, I have to be a little more mature! That's good.

There is this thing about conflict, argument and fights. It takes two to start this. So probably, the problems lies with the both of the parties. It makes sense right? If you really think about it. Don't stick to just the mind set of you being the "innocent" one. In fact, I can tell you, your not. I know that everyone would be happier if you guys just talk it out. Having a cold war ain't going to solve anything.

P.S. I'm happy, with everything. Well, I do miss my friends quite a lot. Hahha. (:

So, the pastor talks about Baptism.

Then, I realized how important it is.

Lastly, I hoped to become a better daughter of God and my parents.

Anyways, today church was fun. The worship team was ALL wearing BLACK. It was like a freaking' funeral, which is OBVIOUSLY NOT. I love the singing, then I realized, I miss God quite a lot. It's like I've not spoken or got close with God for a long time, I feel happy during those moments. I so need to get back in track with Yahweh.

After service, the youth went crazy and they were all beating the drums and playing the instruments and blabbing weird Indian words which is definitely not Indian words. It looked like a happy funeral. What the shit.

We went to Bishan to eat. The food court stuff was SUPER cheap. It was super filling too and I had Tom yam, not bad. We talked, Darren started making fun of me and ___ and I was so embarrassed when he looked into my phone and saw the pictures. I deleted them right off after that. My oh my, I was like 0_0!

Went home, all hot and sweaty and ran up to bath. Lastly, I rot at home and I hate steak. Yucks. Honestly, I have no idea why people treat it as though its some expensive cuisine. To me, it's like uncooked meat. Ewww.

Oh oh OH! I saw Mr.ang and his wife. Mr.Ang looked like a begger, no offence and his wife was like way out of his league. What the hell.

I'm just freakin' bored at home. My parents woke up, asked me to come down and watch television, little sister could go her friends house, I have to stay at home, cause of exam, and my sister have those too.

I seriously just want to get out of the house and leave but yet, I can't. Honestly, I miss ___ a lot. Constantly up there, stuck. I so want to see ___!

You know the feeling when sometimes, you have lots of stuff in your head when actually nothing is in it, just countless of worries that has not even happen, or is not about to. I'm not delusional. I'm probably just being paranoid. It will blow off, eventually.

Oh boy, seems like music is all I want to super hear now. And someone's voice.

Hold up, I'm not a freakin' emotional perosn. I'm super outgoing and crazy and friendly. Damn, I gotta stop all of this man.